Getting Real

I saw a quote recently saying that you know you’re a true friend if someone lets you over to their house without cleaning up first. I thought that was quite fitting and feel that I’ve only had a few of those in my life. It is very hard to get to that point with someone. It is kind of funny because life is all about allusion. By cleaning up we are giving someone the allusion that we are neat people that don’t have pillows on the ground, fake food all over the place, and don’t have dust bunnies rolling around the floor (oh wait I don’t have any of those… ahem). Yes, I admit to being one that likes appearances. It is important for me to vacuum and tidy up before almost everyone comes over. I’m still a work in progress!

It is always wonderful when you can “get real” with friends. Like admitting that you’re not 100% happy with your spouse or something else going on in your life. It’s easy to say “Oh everything’s going great,” but it’s another thing to say, honestly and not just griping, “No, I’m not super thrilled about that.” Now I’m not suggesting that someone turn into a griping, whining person, but it is realistic to not be happy all the time and have parts of your life that are not perfect. Again I’m going back to that importance of appearance. I used to think that if I said anything negative about a friend or my “wonderful” husband someone would think badly about me or who I had chosen. It is important to not complain about friends, but it’s another thing to have that someone who you can be your raw self with. It is a wonderful feeling to vent and express your feelings, however one sided they may be. It is even more wonderful to have that friend know the different times when you want to be commiserated with and times when you’d love a different perspective put on your dilemma to help you see things from a different angle.

Along these same lines of “getting real” is the realization for me that our society has such strange views on pain. It is easy and understandable to see someone in physical pain. ‘Yes, poor you, you have a broken shoulder. Wow that must hurt.’ But it is much more taboo for someone to discuss emotional pain and discomfort. I think that is where your “person”  you “get real” with comes in the most. That person who you can show your pain: physical and emotional. Knowing that I’ve gained a few of those recently is a WONDERFUL feeling. My wish for today is that everyone out there find their “person.”